When there’s something about your partner that bothers you, should you communicate it, or should you wait for him to sense it?
Love does not make us mind readers. Just because we love someone, it doesn’t mean we will automatically learn about our partner’s fear and insecurities. If we don’t communicate what bothers us and wait for our partner to sense it, then aren’t you gonna be waiting for a really long time and feeling frustrated the entire time? because he might never sense it. Not because he doesn’t love you, but because he might not aware of it.
We shouldn’t assume that our partner knows everything. When someone loves us we feel that, “If you love me, you would know why I’m upset” or “If you really cared, you would know why you shouldn’t have done that”. Emotionally that make sense, but rationally it doesn’t.
How can someone know what they don’t know? By telling them. But having told someone something even after a million times isn’t an indication that they will now know exactly how we’re feeling. People usually takes time to understand something, they didn’t totally get it in the first place.
It’s seems irrational for us to immediately compare what someone does/doesn’t do to how much they love us. Everyone can love us, but seems they don’t even know how to love themselves properly, so they are going to have difficulties knowing how to love us.
Sometimes we don’t want to bring up something that bothers our partner and would rather wait for him to sense it, because we don’t want to come across as needy or desperate for attention and affection; or we don’t want to add something to our partner, since he has a lot pressure at work.
If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and having lack of trust with our partner, we might not be happy in a relationship no matter how much we love the person.
We can learn to bring things up in a relationship without accusing our partner and simply expressing the hurt and insecurity we feel. We can also learn how not to get upset so when our partner does not give us the response we want.
When we communicate with our partner, our relationship won’t be driven by fear, doubts and guesses.
I put my trust in you, I believe what you say is true, I have faith in what you do, Yes I do, you are my dream come true.
I put my trust in you, and I know when I am blue. Yes I know you’ll carry me through. Yes I do, all that I need to do is put my trust in you.
… You’ve always been there for me, you’re the wind that has carried me, your love has set me free, your love has made me: me.